When you marry your spouse, both of you are probably earning an income. However, life changes, and starting a family can affect your ability to continue working. Some couples opt for one parent to stay at home while the other becomes the sole breadwinner. Being a breadwinner comes with much financial responsibility, both during the marriage and after a divorce. In addition, it creates pressure on the breadwinner, which can itself contribute to a divorce. Before you decide to divorce, you can consult the San Diego Family Law Attorney so that you understand the financial implications of divorce on the breadwinner.
Spousal Support
In exchange for staying at home with the kids, your spouse sacrifices their career growth. Such a sacrifice would put them at a disadvantage after a divorce. Due to their stay at home, their marketable skills can get rusty; therefore, finding a job would be difficult.
To cater to the stay-at-home spouse, the court requires the breadwinner to pay a predetermined amount to support a lifestyle similar to or close to the one you had while married. Spousal support is designed to make the transition easier for the stay-at-home spouse.
Usually, the court may allow you to agree with your spouse on the amount and duration for paying spousal support in the long- term. Some of the factors courts look at when deciding on the amount of spousal support include the following:
- The incomes of both parties
- The contribution your spouse has made towards your career such as educating you or helping you in acquiring a professional license
- Your ability to pay spousal support based on your income and the cost of living
- Your needs and those of your spouse based on the lifestyle you had
- Debts and property you own either jointly or separately
- The length of your marriage
- Your age and health
- A history of domestic violence by either party
- The ability of your spouse to earn without altering their role as the primary caregiver of your children
- The ability of your spouse becoming self-sufficient (their marketable skills and the job market requiring those skills)
- Factors such as disability or hardship any of the spouses may experience
- The impact of spousal support on the taxes of both parties
In addition to determining the amount of alimony, you have to decide on the duration you have to make these payments. The court sets the duration at half the length of the marriage if you have been married for less than ten years. However, those in longer marriages have to decide the duration. The court encourages spouses to pay alimony for as long as it is necessary to get the other spouse on his or her feet. If they achieve self-sufficiency, you can then go to court to show proof that spousal support is no longer necessary.
Loss of Child Custody
If you are the breadwinner, there is a likelihood that you will lose the custody battle. Child custody determination has come a long way. In the past, custody usually went to the mother. However, the changing dynamics of society and the fight for equality has seen more men getting custody of their children.
Traditionally, men were the breadwinners, thus spent less time with their children. Nowadays, even dads are taking on homecare and childcare responsibilities as women pursue their careers. These arrangements have made it hard to determine how custody battles turn out. Here are some of the factors courts use to determine custody:
- The age and health of the child
- The emotional ties you have with your children
- Your ability to care for the children
- History of drug and substance abuse or violence
- The ties the child has to the local community, schools and his or her home
- The wishes of the child (if he or she is mature enough to make an intelligent decision)
When determining custody, the judge makes a decision that is in the best interests of the child in terms of safety, security, continuity, and stability. The court will determine both legal and physical custody.
Legal custody refers to the control each parent has in making decisions regarding important events in the child's life, such as education, healthcare, and religion. You may get joint or separate custody for your child.
Physical custody usually goes to the parent who demonstrates the ability to care for the needs of the child. Balancing parental responsibilities and career pursuits when you are the breadwinner can diminish the quality of time you spend with your children. In such a case, the case may rule against you, preferring to give primary physical custody to the other parent.
Child Support
The bad news is that, once you lose primary custody of your child, you have to pay child support to the custodial parent until the child turns 18 and has graduated from high school. Exceptions to this rule include when a child dies, marries, or joins the military. If you have a child living with a disability, you and your spouse will be required to offer him or her support into adulthood.
Before the judge determines child support, both parents will have to declare their income and expenses. If you are the breadwinner, it means that you have a higher income than your spouse; therefore, you will pay more in child support.
In addition, the time you spend with your child affects the amount you pay. The court sets a higher amount for parents who spend less time with their children. The court also calculates the cost of raising the child. Child support covers the following costs:
- Food, clothing, and shelter
- Health insurance
- Back payments and the interest accrued
- Childcare
- Extracurricular activities
- Medical bills
- Travel costs incurred during visitation
While you can change child support payment in the future, you have to go through the court to prevent legal problems, even if you and your spouse agree to make the changes. You can make such changes in case of the following:
- The income of both parents changes
- There are changes in the needs of the child
You should note that child support does not end when your partner makes more money. It is dependent on the child and is paid as part of your parenting responsibilities to the child, not to the custodial parent.
Legal Fees
Your spouse may request that you pay for his or her attorney and legal fees. If your spouse cannot afford the cost of a lawyer, you have to pay one for him or her, so that you both can have legal representation. Before the court orders you to pay your spouse’s legal fee, he or she will determine the financial position of your partner to decide whether or not they can pay their fees.
Property Distribution
As the breadwinner, probably most of the property you have comes from your earnings. You may feel entitled to all you have purchased during the marriage. However, divorce courts in California do not divide property based on who purchased what.
In dividing property, the court makes a distinction between community and personal property. Personal property is yours to use as you see fit and is not subject to division. For shared property such as real estate, you can choose to share ownership or sell the property and share the proceeds.
Ideally, you should agree with your spouse on how to divide property, ensuring that the division is equitable and fair (not necessarily equal). In case you are unaware of the value of the property, contact an appraiser through your attorney to have the property valued.
If you go to court to resolve property division issues, make sure you disclose what you own. That way, you do not risk legal action for failing to disclose.
If you bought a home, do not try to evict your spouse. Such action will work against you, as the court will order you to vacate.
How to Prepare Yourself for the Divorce Implications If You Are the Breadwinner
You can protect yourself to some extent if you are the breadwinner. This will ensure that neither you nor your spouse suffer adversely from the divorce. It is always advisable to iron out issues with your spouse. When you and your partner agree, you will spend a shorter time in court, pay less in legal fees, and none of you will feel oppressed. In addition, if your agreement meets the standards by the court, then the court will not alter your decision.
When discussing settlement with your spouse, try fitting into their shoes. Examine how being the stay-at-home parent has affected their career growth and their earning potential. Where possible, encourage your spouse to get on their feet. This will reduce the amount you have to pay in alimony.
Do not move out of your home, especially if you have children. Such a move reflects badly on custody. Come up with a co-parenting arrangement that works for both of you. Arrange visitation and stipulate your responsibilities to each other and to the child. This way, you are likely to get an arrangement that works for you and your children and save on the costs of hiring a mediator, attorney, or court fees.
Another mistake you can make as a breadwinner is to take the children with you, on the basis that you can support them better. Divorce cases often turn emotional. Your spouse may be vengeful towards you and claim that you concealed the children from him or her. Such matters reflect poorly on you and reduce your chances of gaining custody. If you have to leave with the children, make sure that the court is aware, and that you have an agreement in place granting you custody.
If you share credit cards or bank accounts, separate them. Your spouse may feel vengeful towards you or try protecting their financial position by taking as much as they can for themselves. To prevent such events, cancel joint credit cards, and account. Clear any outstanding debts you may have. If you share an account, you should contact the bank, and separate your half. Inform your spouse about the separation of accounts through writing. Ensure that the money you take is rightfully yours, taking more than you should, could be interpreted as malice against your spouse by the court.
Sell any property or items you do not need. When selling, ensure that your spouse is aware of your actions, and have his or her consent before disposing of community property.
Protect your property by moving the records of property or personal records from your shared family home. Make copies of jointly owned property. Provide one to your spouse and keep the other in a safe place. You can create a video catalog of the items you own in your family home. Remember that selfishness usually creeps in most divorce cases, as every party tries to grab the most valuable items he or she can get.
Protect your personal property as well by storing them in a safe place where your spouse cannot access. These include mementos, personal collections, and firearms. Note that you are not allowed to move community property.
Hire a divorce attorney who is conversant with California family laws. Keep in touch with your lawyer and ensure that he or she goes through any paperwork you are required to sign. Signing paperwork that your attorney has not reviewed could complicate custody and property distribution proceedings. Your lawyer will help you in understanding the meaning and implication of each clause in the divorce papers.
You should also prepare yourself for false claims and accusations. As mentioned earlier, divorce is highly emotional and likely to feature jealousy, anger, and vengeance. Contact your attorney when your spouse makes false claims. In case any form of domestic violence happens, contact the police to report the incident.
Find a San Diego Divorce Lawyer Near Me
When you are going through a divorce, having an attorney helps you keep track of what is happening and the rights and obligations you have. Your lawyer is instrumental in offering you sound legal guidance and helping you avoid common divorce pitfalls. If you are the breadwinner, the lawyer will advise on the best course of action to ensure that neither you nor your spouse suffers majorly from the divorce. He or she can also help with making custody agreements and help with your property division. If you are considering a divorce, contact the San Diego Family Law Attorney at 619-610-7425 for a consultation.
