The divorce process is complicated for the couple and the children (if any). It takes a long struggle before a couple decides to end their marriage permanently. One or both partners can fight to keep the marriage. Other partners go to the extent of making matters difficult for the other. If you are going through a divorce and are not on good terms with your partner, you need to know how to defend yourself and your children through the process and after. This guide will give you tips that could work for you, depending on what you are experiencing. Contact a skilled family law attorney for more information, guidance, and legal support.
Hire an Attorney From The Start
California family law is not apparent. There are issues you could be unaware of that could affect your situation. That is why you need a family law attorney from the start of the divorce process. A highly skilled and experienced attorney will guide you through the process and ensure that your rights are protected to the end.
Divorce is a highly stressful process for the couple, their children (if any), and their families. The stress can overwhelm you and make it difficult to make informed choices. Having an attorney by your side is one way to reduce the stress and ensure that the process moves smoothly regardless of how you feel.
Partners have equal legal rights during the divorce process. For instance, you have a right to community property, child custody/visitation, and the right to receive financial support if you do not earn enough to cater to your needs. Your attorney will ensure that your rights are protected throughout the divorce process.
Again, there is a lot you do not know about family law that you will need help with as you go through the legal processes. You need legal guidance and counsel to ensure that you do your part without compromising the process.
Do Not Move Out Of Your Home if Children Are Involved
The law requires divorcing couples with children to always make decisions based on the best interests of their children. Children are highly vulnerable and will not know how to protect their rights when their parents separate or divorce. Partners who make selfish decisions during a divorce lose a lot, including losing in a child custody battle.
Children must not be moved from their homes even when you no longer live together with your partner. If you have already moved your children out of your home, it is advisable to bring them back immediately. They will be more comfortable in an environment they are already used to, which, in this case, is their home.
Living with your partner when going through a divorce is not easy. If you wish to move out because of domestic violence, think of other legal strategies you can deploy to remain at home with your children, including obtaining a restraining order from the abusive partner.
Once you move your children out of their home, you could lose your child custody rights. That would be a massive blow after losing your spouse and everything else you have lost in the divorce process.
Request For Joint Custody of Your Children
Regardless of what you are going through during the divorce process, do not forget that you are a parent. It is tempting to leave your home for a much quieter place where you can enjoy some peace before the divorce process is over. But that could compromise your child custody rights.
Seek joint custody of your children right from the start. Let your attorney and the court know that you wanted to remain close to your children from the start. That could result in a fair decision when the judge's final ruling about child custody is out.
It could seem like a good idea to stay away from your children, especially if they have witnessed negative issues during your marriage. But, that would appear as if you do not care much about them. Your partner's attorney can use that break to deny your child custody rights, which could keep you away from your children for a very long time. If you plan to keep your children close after divorce, let nothing change your relationship, even the divorce process. It will be challenging initially, but it will bear good fruits.
Cancel Any Joint Credit Cards You Have
Most couples in working marriages apply for joint credit cards. It reduces their bills as a couple since they can consolidate transactions. It also makes partners with a low credit score eligible for a credit card with fairer terms. But, that needs to stop once you decide to divorce.
Your partner can decide to charge a lot of money to them without your consent or knowledge, leaving you deeper into debt after divorce. You must cancel any joint credit card you could have with your partner immediately after you decide to separate and divorce.
Fortunately for you, it takes only a few minutes to cancel a joint credit card. Ensure that your partner is unaware of this so that they will not quickly use the credit card before the cancellation process is complete. Only let them know what you have done after the card is completely canceled and inaccessible to both of you.
Joint credit cards are the responsibility of both partners in a marriage. You will be responsible for paying off the debt even after divorce. Some partners decide to charge excessive amounts on credit cards while undergoing divorce to make it difficult for their partners. Canceling the cards at the start of the process will save you from that and more.
Safeguard All Joint Accounts
Money is a significant issue for divorcing couples. Some people want to end up with more money than their partners and would be willing to do everything to pocket as much money as possible before the divorce is final. You must safeguard any joint account you have with your partner as you go through the divorce process. Your partner could, out of anger, decide to wipe out your joint accounts clean, leaving you with no money to start life after the divorce.
Joint accounts are where couples save for joint projects. The money technically and equally belongs to both. Sadly, it could all end up with one partner if they are greedy and inconsiderate of the other partner. If your partner wants you to suffer through and after the divorce, they could be willing to do anything to achieve that, including leaving you penniless.
Start by opening an individual account under your name with a different bank. Take out part of the money in the joint account and deposit it in that new account. Ensure that you are entitled to the money you take from the joint account to avoid legal issues with your partner once they discover what you have done. Let your partner know what you have done by sending them a written letter.
Reduce Your Expenses
Running a home could have been easy when working on it with your partner. Life could be a little different after divorce. Thus, it would be best to consider reducing your expenses from the start to set the pace for what will happen after the divorce.
Do this jointly with your partner. You can start by identifying some of the utilities you no longer need and canceling those. For instance, if you have several telephone lines, it could be time to cancel some and only leave those truly necessary. Cancel the Cable TV if it is not that important. If your partner is still making life difficult for you, you can make some of these decisions without their consent.
Selling some of the personal properties you no longer need is also part of reducing your general expenditure. Again, you can agree with your partner on the personal properties you need to sell off and those that you must keep. For instance, if you have more vehicles than you need, it could be time to sell them. Then, you will not have to include your personal property as community property that your partner will be entitled to.
Stop Contributions to Retirement Accounts
Divorcing couples take advantage of every opportunity to keep as much money as possible after the process. Your partner could be waiting for an opportunity to take some of the money you have worked very hard for. For instance, they will be entitled to all or part of the funds in your retirement accounts like pension plans and 401(k).
In that case, you can stop contributing to these accounts. Talk to your employer to help you sign forms that will stop regular contributions to your retirement accounts. That way, you will not continue to increase the amount your partner could be entitled to after the divorce.
Once you stop contributions to your retirement accounts, you will have more money left for yourself, which could help you start life afresh after the divorce.
Remember that your partner will also be working hard to ensure that they have enough money to start all over after the divorce. Therefore, you should do the same. Make financial decisions that will favor you at that instance, and then you can change those decisions after the divorce process.
keep Your Records Safe
Your personal documents like diplomas, birth certificates, pension papers, and other vital documents are valuable. You must keep them safe, especially now that you are going through a divorce. Your partner can use them to harm you if they have access to them. Thus, consider keeping them out of your home (the home you share with your partner). Please keep them in a place where your partner will not be able to access them, like your parent’s, trusted family members, or a colleague’s home.
If you have joint records like real estate documents, title deeds, bank statements, W2s, and tax returns, ensure you have at least two copies of each. Keep one copy of joint records safely, where only you can access it. You can give the other copy to your partner and then keep the originals with your attorney. This way, you will have evidence of joint ownership if your partner decides to destroy any evidence that could give you access to some of the assets you have acquired together.
Keep a Record of Marital Property
The court will require a record of community assets to divide them equally between you and your partner when your marriage is dissolved. Thus, it is crucial to record every property you have acquired separately or jointly with your partner after marriage.
You could make a catalog of your marital property in a video, alone or together with your partner. It will be easier for you if your partner agrees to participate in the exercise. If that does not work, catalog alone, then make copies of the catalog and give them a copy. Ensure that you keep your copy safely together with other valuable documents you have. That will help if your partner decides to keep some properties to themselves to prevent you from receiving its share.
Include the date when recording the marital property. Again, move from one room to the other in the house as you take pictures and videos of what you have. Open any drawers and shelves to reveal what is kept there. Make sure you take a video of everything you have in a safety deposit storage. Your partner will not be able to move anything from home and keep it away from you during the divorce process.
Keep Your Valuable Personal Items Safe
If your partner is vengeful, this is the time to keep safe all that you consider valuable in your life. Some people destroy what their partners love or cherish out of spite or desire for revenge. If you are unsure about your partner's reaction once you start the divorce process, gather all your valuable items and keep them safely out of their reach.
Valuable items do not necessarily cost you more money, but those you wish to keep for years. For instance, your personal mementos, firearms, your collections, and others you cannot replace. Consider removing them from your home to where only you can access them.
If you have valuable joint items, talk to your partner about separating them, and then you can keep yours in a safe place. If talking to him/her is out of the question, keep safe what you feel is valuable to you, and leave the rest for him/her.
Do Not Sign Documents Without Your Attorney's Approval
Your partner and/or their attorney can trick you into signing documents that could take away your rights during and after divorce. That is why you should not be too trusting. Read carefully every document you receive before signing it. If you are unsure about a particular document, allow your attorney to go through it first. Your attorney will advise you on whether or not to sign, depending on your interests during and after the divorce.
Some documents you could sign without a second thought could result in severe battles regarding the division of property, child custody, alimony, and similar issues. Other documents can be modified after you have appended your signature. Also, your attorney cannot adjust other documents to serve your interests after signing them.
Allow your attorney to handle all documents during the divorce process. That will keep you safe from making mistakes that will compromise your situation.
Keep a Journal
It could help to keep a record of most of the stuff you are doing from the beginning to the end of the divorce process. For instance, record every day what you do with the children, any arguments you have with your partner, and all telephone conversations you have with your partner, his/her attorney, or anyone else involved in the process. Record any information you receive regarding your divorce, however trivial it seems. Most importantly, keep that journal out of your partner's reach.
Avoid becoming overly emotional when writing your journal. It would be best only to record facts, as they can be used as evidence in court. Keep out the information you feel your partner can use against you.
Find a San Diego Family Law Attorney Near Me
It must be the most challenging time if you are going through a divorce. Sadly, your partner can use what you do or fail to do against you during the dissolution of your marriage. That is why you need to learn how to defend yourself during a divorce. Your attorney will guide you on the do's and don'ts of a divorce process and help you deal with issues you could find challenging through the process. For more information and legal assistance in San Diego, contact us at 619-610-7425. Our San Diego Family Law Attorney team will be willing and ready to walk with you until you obtain a fair outcome for your situation.
