Nothing is easy when a marriage ends. Divorce emotionally affects all family members, primarily the children. Therefore, even as you deal with your emotions, the law encourages you and your spouse to spend time with the little ones to maintain a healthy relationship. The best way to ensure the children’s best interests is by establishing a child visitation schedule.
In California, the issue of visitation is handled during a child custody hearing. Unfortunately, creating an amicable visitation schedule that benefits the children is difficult, even when the divorce is amicable. Discussed below is how you can best handle child visitation after marriage dissolution.
Child Visitation General View
When your ex-spouse is with your children most of the time or the court awards them child custody, it is said that you have a visitation. It allows you, the non-custodial caregiver, to spend quality time with the child. Both parents are critical in the psychological and emotional development of their minors. Even after you have dissolved your marriage, you remain a parent to the children and must exercise your right to interact with them.
Usually, the court allows you and your former spouse to develop a visitation timetable, outlining your responsibilities and duties to the children and the duration they will spend associating with the minors.
You do not have a legal responsibility to agree on the visitation schedule, although you should keep your differences aside and develop a program for the children’s best interest. If you cannot agree on the plan as parents, the matter turns to the court.
Alternatively, you can try settlement with a therapist or a mediator before turning to the court. Even if the court can help settle, it is fiscally and emotionally essential for you and your ex to agree. Sadly, the tempter flares and stress can hinder negotiations and force you to turn to the court.
A divorce court will always rule in the child’s best interest, unlike parents, who sometimes can be selfish and put their interests before their children's. Factors that determine a child’s best interests are:
- The child’s age
- The child’s general well-being
- Parents’ work schedule
- The physical and mental status of the parent
- The child’s relationship or bond with the parent
- The child’s opinion if they are 12 or above
- Job and employment history of the parent
- Existence of negative behavior
When your child is 12 or older, they can decide their living preference. The court considers the opinions of children who can make these decisions.
Consistency and permanency are critical when deciding what is best for the children. The court usually instructs the siblings to live together, except in rare situations when the siblings can live separately to maintain a relationship or routine with the caregiver.
The Visitation Agreement
The divorce court usually wants parents to develop a visitation schedule. The visitation agreement is the document you and your ex-spouse devise specifying your roles and obligations. When both parents cannot set an understanding, the caregiver with exclusive custody can draft the agreement if you agree on the child’s primary residence, visitation plan and activities, and orders for adjusting the visitation contract.
Even if you and the other parent of your children are on the same book regarding the contract, it must go through the court for approval to make it legally binding if differences arise.
A visitation contract is beneficial because it helps you understand your roles and the activities you can engage in when spending time with the child.
Also, even after marriage dissolution, children enjoy both parents' love, care, and guidance, helping their emotional and mental growth.
With the agreement, children know when and how to spend time with their parents in advance, making it easy to plan. Besides, parents learn to respect each other and their responsibilities in their children’s lives.
How to Develop a Visitation Plan or Schedule
Marriage dissolution creates a lot of hindrance and uncertainty for parents and little ones. A schedule will save you, your ex-spouse, and the children from these frustrations and enable you to adapt to the new normal. Therefore, if you have ended your marriage, it is critical to sit down with your partner and develop a schedule specifying how each parent will continue to be in the children’s lives even after you have divorced.
The standard child visitation in California is the rotation one, where the parent with legal custody lives with the children during weekdays. On the weekends, the parent with visitation spends time with the children. The court wants your children to have stability and consistency. A rotating visitation cycle offers this stability, which is suitable for the entire family.
You should factor in the holiday issue when creating a visitation timetable. You and the ex-partner should write down a list of all holidays in the year and then agree on how you will share these days. You can decide on a rotating scheme where you spend one holiday with the children, and the next is for the co-parent.
However, you must be prepared for adjustments because if the holiday comes on a weekend, when you, the non-custodial partner, should be with the children, the holiday schedule will be prioritized. The custodial parent will devote the weekend to the minors, and you will reschedule.
Children are involved in various activities, like sports. Therefore, as you prepare the schedule, you should factor in the special activities and vacations. If your child participates in soccer or a sport that is likely to adjust the regular schedule, the custodial parent must notify you of the changes in the regular visitation. On the vacation issue, you and the ex-partner must agree on the days and the time of the year one can go with the children for vacation. You can arrange to have two weeks of vacation every year, especially during the summer. Each parent will have a week with the children on holiday.
The agreement will not always go as planned because challenges will arise on the way. Therefore, you should include on the schedule rules and conditions that will streamline visitation. The schedule should It should specify how the children should be transported, where they should be picked up or dropped off, and how to handle changes.
Parents who disagree on visitation turn to the court for a fixed schedule. With this kind of visitation, the court decides when you will have visitation and the duration. Also, to guarantee stability and consistency, the court can develop a fixed schedule.
Sometimes the court will order supervised visitation if the non-custodial parent has a history of violence or abuse against their partner or children. Again, the court will order supervised visitation if you have a history of drug or alcohol abuse. An adult will watch you, but the adult cannot be the custodial parent. You and the custodial parent will decide whom to pick as the visitation supervisor.
Adjusting the Visitation Schedule
Many aspects change as you, your ex-spouse, and your children age, forcing you to alter the visitation schedule. Due to the fact that their needs are different from those of younger children, teenagers may require a different schedule. Make sure the time you spend with the children stays the same when making program changes, and let the court know about them to keep the schedule legally binding. Also, all schedule changes must be in the children’s best interest and should not be frequent because this eliminates consistency and stability.
When you create a fair visitation schedule, you can modify it without consulting the court. For instance, you are to spend time with your children on the weekend, but unfortunately, something comes up at work, and you cannot pick up the children from the custodial parent. Under these circumstances, you can call the custodial parent and reschedule. Nonetheless, if the court developed the schedule, you must go through the court to make adjustments.
Developing a visitation program on your own without the court’s help seems good on paper, but in practice, it is challenging. If you are unable to adhere to the schedule, the custodial parent is under no obligation to accept your request to reschedule. After creating a visitation schedule, if you think your ex-partner won't be accommodating, you can ask the court to modify the arrangement.
Child Visitation Types
The common types of visitations include:
- No Visitation
If the court determines that you are physically or emotionally unfit to be in contact with your children after divorce, particularly due to child or domestic abuse, the judge will not issue visitation orders. The court wants what is best for the children. And if your presence in the children’s lives is harmful, it will bar you from visiting or spending time with them. The presence of a parent in a child’s life is beneficial, but if you feel that not seeing the child is a way of protecting them, the judge will issue a no-visitation order. Other reasons why the court can deny you visitation after divorce are:
- You have a child abuse history, and being around your children could pose the danger of violence
- You do not keep in touch with the children
- You have a history of disregarding visitation privileges
- You have a record of drug or alcohol abuse
When the court issues a no-visitation order, you should not give up because there is a way to restore these rights. A court-approved action plan that involves drug and alcohol treatment, anger management lessons, and keeping off drugs for at least half a year can help restore your visitation rights. The court will nevertheless order supervised or virtual visitation even after the parties have complied with the action plan's requirements.
- Supervised Visitation
If the court believes you can harm the child, they can order supervised visitation to protect the child. Some of the reasons for wanting to have a supervising adult, who is not a custodial parent, be present during visitation are:
- Your child has not seen you for long, and you need time to know each other and build a bond
- You have a history of spousal abuse
- Have an alcohol or drug abuse problem
- You have previously abused the child physically, sexually, or emotionally
- You have an uncontrolled mental illness that may be a threat to the child
Supervised visitation only happens in a location or facility picked by the court. You and the custodial spouse may occasionally be permitted by the court to decide on the location for the supervised visitation.
The supervising adult can be a colleague at work, a friend, a relative, or a social worker and must stay with you, the non-custodial parent until the visitation time is over.
The court can order unsupervised visitation if you show that the behavior that led to the supervision has changed by finishing anger management classes.
- Unsupervised Visitation
The kind of visitation that allows the non-custodial parent to spend time with the children freely is known as unsupervised. It is the most common visitation type and enables you to spend quality time with your children, although within the scope of the visitation schedule.
- Virtual Visitation
Thanks to modern technological advancements, you can now virtually interact and communicate with your children. Even after the court has denied you visitation after the marriage dissolution, you can petition the court for a virtual one where you can talk to your children through a video call, phone, or webcam. Virtual visitation is different from the other types of visitation because there is no physical contact with the children, but it is a perfect option for non-custodial parents who live or work far from the children, and the only way to make contact is virtual.
You, as the non-custodial parent, are required to buy the technology the children will use for virtual visitation.
Enforcing Visitation Orders
When you don't use your visitation privileges, the custodial parent may ask the court to change the visitation arrangement. However, courts and attorneys are usually not quick to make the adjustments because they could emotionally harm the child. Children, especially teenagers, will want to know why their non-custodial parent’s visitation has been limited. Instead of explaining this to them, it will be easier for the custodial parent to reach out to the non-custodial partner and find a solution for handling responsibilities and duties.
When the court imposes the modifications requested by the custodial parent, you will find it difficult to comply with the new directives, resulting in hefty fines and other penalties to help you fulfill your parental obligations. The typical punishment for disregarding court orders is:
- Imposition of fines or civil penalties
- Paying bond to enforce submission
- Paying the custodial parent's legal fees
- Order loss payment to the custodial parents for the missed visitations
When the custodial parents ignore the court-ordered visitation, they should reschedule. However, even if they fail to reschedule, you have options. If you, the non-custodial parent, fail to fulfill your visitation responsibilities, the court will impose measures to force you to comply. The court can transfer custody to you if the issue is that the custodial parent keeps refusing to grant you visitation.
Even after the custodial parent denies you visitation, do not be tempted to withhold child support because it will put you in trouble with the law. You could face criminal charges for contempt, punishable by hefty court fines and incarceration. The best move is to talk to an experienced family law attorney to explain your options while you make your child support payments.
Additionally, if the court or the parent with custody has denied you visitation, resist the urge to abduct your child. Doing so will only hurt your child emotionally. Involving the police due to being denied visitation will also increase hostility and psychologically impact the child.
Deciding on child visitation is an emotional and complex process for all parties involved. Hire an attorney to guide you through the process and handle all the obstacles that occur along the way.
Crucial Visitation Strategies for Parents
The high emotions and tempers that fly in a divorce process can cause problems between couples, problems that spill over to the child visitation issue. Despite the differences between you and the other spouse, you should consider the children’s safety and well-being.
To help with visitation, you should open communication channels to continue sharing parental obligations. Also, try talking to your former spouse directly instead of using children to pass on messages.
Also, you must respect each other even though you have ended the marriage. Respect means accepting that the marriage did not work and moving on for the benefit of the children. Again, you should address your partner with respect in front of the children and learn how to handle disagreements.
Moreover, whatever happens between you and your former partner should not affect your relationship with the minors. It would be best if you did not direct the frustrations or anger from your divorce onto them. Additionally, please do not use the children to settle scores because they will hurt the most.
Find an Experienced San Diego Family Lawyer Near Me
If you have child visitation issues or cannot agree after a divorce, you must bring in an attorney to help you resolve the issue and protect the children’s interests. At the San Diego Family Law Attorney, we have experience handling child visitation cases after divorce and are ready to help you with yours. Call us today at 619-610-7425 for a free consultation.
