High-conflict divorce happens when a divorcing couple cannot agree on issues. These issues include alimony (spousal support), child visitation, child custody, child support, and marital property division. Consequently, they proceed to trial, and a family law court decides the grievances surrounding the dissolution of marriage. A contested divorce in San Diego is contentious, time-consuming, and expensive. In the sections below, you will learn the causes of contested divorces, the process of ending your marriages, and practical tips/measures to take.
Causes of High Conflict Dissolution of Marriages
A high-conflict divorce is a dissolution of marriage in which the partners cannot agree on one or more significant issues that arise during the divorce, warranting court involvement. In other words, it takes place when partners file for divorce without a mutually decided marital settlement agreement.
Some of the reasons for contested divorces include the following:
- Infidelity is one primary reason why many married couples often divorce. When a spouse cheats on their significant other, it could result in mistrust and emotional pain in their union. The betrayed spouse might feel hurt, resentful, and angry, making it hard to reconcile. Sometimes, the cheating spouse can hesitate to end the marriage, which could cause a contested dissolution of marriage.
- Child custody and support — Sometimes, unhappy spouses continue to live together for their juvenile children’s sake. If the dissolution of marriage occurs when children are involved, custody battles can be agonizing. Every spouse may want their children's custody and hesitate to compromise, causing a challenging and lengthy legal battle with parties fighting for their legal rights. Sometimes, allegations of neglect and abuse could complicate the matter. Moreover, the divorcing couple may disagree on the required child support amount.
- Financial challenges — When partners have different financial goals, income levels, and spending habits, it can cause tension in the marriage. Sometimes, one partner could be irresponsible or hide their assets, resulting in financial issues and disagreements.
- Differences in goals or values — Although differences attract, sometimes having significant values or goals variations can lead to the dissolution of marriage in the long run. For instance, if a spouse desires to pursue travel or a career and does not want children while the other wants to settle down and start a family, it could lead to frustration and tension. If the parties cannot resolve these differences, they can cause a contested divorce.
- Communication breakdown — Each healthy relationship is founded on effective communication between the parties. When spouses stop communicating, it can result in resentment, misunderstandings, and, ultimately, a relationship breakdown. Sometimes, a spouse can hesitate to speak or dismiss the other’s concerns, making it challenging to resolve matters and agree.
Signs You Could Have a High-Conflict Dissolution of Marriage
It is in your best interests to end your marriage amicably. Having an uncontested dissolution of marriage can save you money, time, and stress and give you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse control of the case outcome instead of allowing the judge to decide for you. Additionally, with an amicable divorce, you will keep your marital affairs private.
You could have a high-conflict dissolution of marriage if your marriage relationship involves the following:
- Domestic violence.
- Specific mental health conditions.
- Breach of court order.
- Helicopter parenting.
- Unwillingness to compromise.
- Adultery.
- Vengeance.
- Blame.
- Adultery.
- Deceit.
- Argumentativeness.
Identifying these signs can help you prepare for the legal process. Consider hiring an experienced attorney if you think you will have a contested divorce case. The lawyer should help you define your goals and take the appropriate steps to help you realize them.
California’s High-Conflict Divorce Process
One step you must take is retaining a family law attorney who can fill out and file your relevant paperwork. The lawyer will also represent you during court trials. The lawyer will guide you through the California divorce process, which consists of the following stages:
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Choosing the Right Venue
The first step involves deciding where to bring your divorce petition based on the residency requirements.
To file a dissolution of marriage in California, one spouse must have resided in the state for the last six months and the previous three months in the county where they have brought the dissolution of marriage case.
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Gathering and Preparing Relevant Divorce Form
Next, you should collect the appropriate legal forms, file them, and officially request the judge to end your marriage.
The primary high-conflict divorce papers are as follows:
Petition (FL-100)
A divorce petition initiates divorce proceedings.
It provides basic information about you and your partner. You must note whether you seek dissolution of a domestic partnership, divorce, or legal separation. You should also prove that you satisfy California’s residency requirements.
Next, you should highlight the reasons for dissolving the marriage. The Golden State is a no-fault divorce state. Therefore, you will choose either the marriage was invalid from the beginning or irreconcilable differences.
Additionally, you should state whether you:
- have children together as a couple,
- have unresolved child custody and visitation issues, and
- are seeking a child support or alimony order.
You should offer preliminary details about your marital assets and debts.
Summons (FL-110)
The summons allows the family law court to provide information about your divorce process.
It states that after you, the petitioner, have filed the petition, the respondent has thirty days to respond. Additionally, it highlights things you can only do once the court issues the final divorce judgment.
Declaration Under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (FL-105)
The court will want more details if you have minor children. This information includes the following:
- The children’s names.
- Their age.
- With whom they have been residing and where.
You should also highlight whether there exists:
- a prior case linked to your children and
- an effective domestic violence (DV) protective order.
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Bringing Your Paperwork to the Courthouse
The paperwork filing process involves two (2) steps.
First, you should take your divorce forms and two additional copies to a court clerk for stamping. The court will keep the original copies while you carry your stamped copies.
Your second phase involves paying the divorce filing fee of $435. You can file Form FW-001 and request a fee waiver if you cannot raise the amount.
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Serving Your Partner
After filing for divorce, you should tell your partner about the dissolution of marriage. To achieve that, collect copies of the Summons, Declaration under the UCCJEA, and divorce petition and serve them alongside a blank FL -120 (Response Form) to your partner.
You cannot serve your partner the divorce papers. Request a server to deliver them. The server should be over 18 and not part of the case. It can be a person you know, a county sheriff, or a skilled process server.
If you choose service by mail, include FL-117 (Notice and Acknowledgement of Receipt) in your paperwork.
Remember to make a copy of the Proof of Service and bring the original document and copies to court.
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Waiting for Thirty Days
You should wait thirty days for your spouse to respond. The respondent will complete and bring the FL-120 (Response - Marriage/Domestic Partnership) form to the court.
They should also serve you with this form.
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Meeting Financial Disclosure Requirements
You should complete and bring financial disclosure paperwork to court and serve your partner with it within sixty days after initiating your divorce process. These documents are as follows:
- FL-140 (Declaration of Disclosure).
- FL-142 (Schedule of Assets and Debts).
- FL- 150 (Income and Expense Declaration).
- FL-160 (Property Declaration).
Your server should complete FL-141 (Declaration Regarding Service of Declaration of Disclosure) as evidence of service. Remember to bring your form to the court.
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Settlement Negotiations
Before finalizing your divorce, you can decide on settling your contested issues as a couple. For example, you can reach an agreement with the help of a neutral third party during case mediation. If successful, you will create your settlement agreement.
The case will proceed to trial if you cannot agree on your dissolution of marriage terms.
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Court Trial
In a contested divorce that does not settle, the judge makes decisions on behalf of the couple.
The judge can prioritize specific concerns over others. For instance, it could be vital for one partner to keep their home while the other spouse could prefer going with the motor vehicle. Nevertheless, the judge can order the car sold, and the house remains with the other partner. The judge will also prioritize your children’s needs.
The more control you have over this legal process as a couple, the greater your chance of coming up with a fair and satisfactory agreement.
The Overall Cost of a High-Conflict Dissolution of Marriage
Typically, a high-conflict divorce is more expensive than an uncontested divorce. Every issue you and your spouse cannot agree on increases the divorce cost. That means a divorce case without minor children or significant marital assets resolves faster and less expensively.
There is no exact cost of dissolution of marriage since every case is unique.
California's divorce filing fee is $435. You should pay the amount when initiating your divorce case. Both spouses should pay these fees if every partner brings pleadings to the court.
Additional legal costs you might be required to cater for include the following:
- Service fees you pay the sheriff’s process server for serving your spouse the divorce paperwork.
- Fees to enroll and complete a required court-ordered co-parenting program.
- Copy fees to acquire a divorce judgment.
When Should You Hire a Skilled Family Law Attorney? Is It Worth It?
Most people believe that their divorce costs will increase if they seek legal representation. Nevertheless, sometimes hiring an attorney is more affordable than leaving money on the table during your dissolution of marriage or making an expensive mistake.
Here are indications you should retain an attorney:
- You do not trust that your partner will be honest about finances.
- You have children below 18 and cannot agree on child support or visitation time.
- You do not understand the divorce paperwork, or it confuses you.
- Your marriage has a history of substance abuse or DV.
- You do not have an understanding of your marital finances
Moreover, self-representation can be overwhelming. Most individuals seek legal assistance for divorce issues like:
- Filling out and filing the relevant divorce paperwork.
- Complying with necessary divorce procedures like waiting time and service requirements.
- Determining the correct child support amount that the court will approve.
- Agreeing on a practical parenting plan, including child visitation.
- Working out your marital settlement agreement.
How Long Does Contested Divorce Take?
A dissolution of marriage in the Golden State takes between eight and twenty months from the date you file your divorce petition to the day the court grants the divorce. However, some cases take more or less time.
The duration your contested divorce takes to resolve depends on the following factors:
- The number of contested issues in your divorce case.
- Whether you have substantial marital business or properties.
- Whether both spouses want to end the marriage and are willing to move on.
- Every partner’s responsiveness.
- How busy you, your partner, and your attorneys are.
- Whether any of you is seeking alimony.
- Whether the court’s calendar is backed up.
The state has a compulsory six-month waiting period. Even when you and your partner agree on everything, file the paperwork with the court, and the judge approves the case, six months must pass from when you initiated your case before your divorce becomes official.
The divorce can also be lengthy if you or your spouse appeal the judge’s decision.
Things to Know about High-Conflict Divorce
When your marriage ends, you, your ex-spouse, and your children will face many stressful events, like new parenting schedules, living arrangements, and decisions about money and assets. Changes can cause emotions, making understanding your legal divorce process challenging and affecting your ability to make informed decisions. The process could be more seamless if you are informed before it starts. Here are some tips to guide you.
Do Not Anticipate to Prevail in the Divorce Case
Many people initiate their dissolution of marriage cases, hoping to beat their partner. Well, there is rarely a winner in divorce. For instance, the court could award you primary child custody but order you to receive less spousal support than your request.
Be Honest with Your Partner and Spouse
You should give your lawyer all the essential facts so they can review your case and advise you accordingly. Even if you conceal information from the legal counsel, they could find the facts by analyzing documents or through your spouse. Failure to be honest can hurt the case and affect your ability to achieve favorable results.
Additionally, you should be upfront with your partner. The law requires divorcing parties to reveal full documents and information about income, assets, debts, and expenses. You should also update these details once new facts come to light. Otherwise, the court will impose severe consequences and penalties.
Have Reasonable Expectations
Divorcing parties sometimes have goals that are inconsistent with the law or unreasonable. Your lawyer can help you understand the potential case outcomes.
Taking an Inventory of All Valuable Items and Making Copies of Essential Documents
You can avoid disputes over valuable items by creating a comprehensive inventory of your house, as follows:
- Capture images of all items.
- Ensure the photographs have a timestamp.
- Preserve your images.
- Create a list of every item, including their estimated value and location.
Some people destroy or hide documents like a prenuptial agreement despite the stringent disclosure rules. You can avoid this problem by making copies of the document immediately after you decide to file for dissolution of marriage or discover your partner is doing so.
Do Not Believe What Others are Telling You About Their Dissolution of Marriage
Your divorced loved one can advise you on what should occur in your case. Regrettably, the advice could be wrong or misleading.
Every case is unique; what worked for them might not work for you. Instead, rely on advice from skilled and knowledgeable mental health experts, financial experts, and your lawyer.
Forget Your Past and Prepare for Your Future
Obsessing the bad things your spouse did during your marriage can stop you from moving on with life and making informed decisions. Be willing to work with your soon-to-be ex-partner to realize your family’s best interests.
Do not focus on petty matters. Instead, be a “big-picture individual” and spend more time on important issues like child custody.
Contact a Competent Family Law Attorney Near Me
A divorce can significantly affect various aspects of your life, mainly if contested. The best way to prepare for marriage dissolution is to stay focused on your future, develop needs, interests, and goals to help you identify what is acceptable, and seek experienced legal representation. San Diego Family Law Attorney can guide you through the process affordably. We have professional work relationships with experts like financial planners, forensic accountants, psychologists, and psychiatrists. We can help prepare your case and address legal matters like alimony, child support, DV concerns, and division of marital debts and property. Our objective is to resolve your grievances outside of court, and if that is impossible, we can aggressively fight for your legal rights in court.
Please contact us at 619-610-7425 for a free and confidential consultation.
