Divorce is not always an easy decision to make. However, it could be the best solution if you are in an abusive marriage. Abuse is not just physical but mental and emotional as well. Many abusive spouses are also in charge of the family finances. It becomes challenging to remain sane in such a situation. You must speak to an experienced family law attorney for informed decision-making. Divorce can help you end things amicably with your partner since your rights and privileges are respected.
Discussing your situation with an attorney enables you to understand your situation and legal options better. Knowing that someone understands what you are going through and can guide you through all necessary legal procedures also gives you peace of mind.
Leaving an Abusive Partner Can Be Challenging
People get married for life or until death do them part. But sometimes the inevitable happens, and a couple separates or divorces. Though it is usually not an easy decision to make, divorce can be the best solution for some situations, including an abusive marriage. Talking to other people about your abusive partner is challenging. Many people do not offer concrete solutions. For example, your friends and family can advise you to leave y
our terrible family situation without knowing how difficult that is. A competent family law attorney can help you make an informed decision based on your situation and interests.
Remember that abuse goes beyond physical injuries and maltreatment. It is a broad term referring to the following kind of behavior:
- Injuring or trying to physically injure another person.
- Sexually assaulting or trying to assault another person sexually.
- Placing your partner in reasonable fear of imminent serious physical harm.
- Engaging in any acts prohibited under Section 6320 of the Family Code, including isolating another person from their family and friends and depriving them of necessities.
Domestic abuse is a reasonable ground for divorce in California. Though it is a violence-related offense, it does not necessarily involve physical abuse. According to Section 6320 of the Family Law, domestic violence has four main parts:
Section 6320(a)
This section prohibits the following acts against another person:
- Attacking.
- Molesting.
- Striking.
- Threatening.
- Stalking.
- Battering.
- Sexual assault.
- Credibly impersonating another person, under PC 528.5.
- False impersonation, under PC 529.
- Sending harassing telephone calls or text messages or making annoying phone calls under PC 653m.
- Destroying another person’s property.
You can obtain a restraining order against anyone who commits any of these acts against you. The court order stops any acts of harassment and prevents the perpetrator from coming within a specific distance of you.
Section 6320(b)
Suppose you demonstrate good cause after obtaining a restraining order. In that case, the judge can grant you possession or exclusive care of an animal you and the perpetrator own, lease, or keep.
You can also enjoy custody of a child in your residence, even if the child belongs to the perpetrator. The judge can issue a court order keeping the perpetrator away and prohibiting them from taking away, encumbering, transferring, molesting, concealing, threatening, harming, striking, disposing, or harming the pet in any way.
Section 6320(c)
This section mainly provides legal consequences for anyone who disturbs another person's peace. Disturbing another person’s peace refers to any behavior that destroys the emotional or mental calmness of the person. The behavior can be direct or indirect, meaning a person can disturb your peace through a third party or electronic means like online accounts, internet devices, text messages, or other technologies.
Examples of behavior prohibited under this section include coercive control, whereby another person unreasonably inhibits your liberty and free will. Here are examples of aggressive control behavior that is not permitted under this statute:
- The perpetrator isolates you from your family, friends, and source of support.
- They deprive you of necessities like food, shelter, and clothing.
- The perpetrator controls, regulates, or monitors your movements, daily behavior, communication, access to services, and economic resources.
- They use force, threats of violence, or intimidation to compel you to abstain or engage from or in acts from which you have the right to engage or abstain.
Divorce Based on Situational Domestic Violence
Remember that DV is a perfect reason to seek a divorce in California. The judge will accept your petition and grant your interests if you demonstrate that your partner was abusive in the course of your marriage. Situational DV refers to an isolated case of domestic violence and not a case you can demonstrate with a series of abusive behavior. Prosecutors and judges associate situational domestic violence with factors, which cause an otherwise calm and loving partner to become violent towards his spouse or children. Here are some of the common factors that result in situational DV:
- Infidelity by the spouse.
- Infidelity by the abusive husband that the spouse has discovered.
- Drug addiction or alcohol abuse by the abusive husband after a traumatic event, like job loss.
- A decision by the spouse to leave the marriage that angers the abusive partner.
These are only a few factors that could result in situational domestic violence. Judges handle divorce cases on a case-to-case basis. Thus, the judge will consider your reason for divorcing your partner to grant your petition. However, judges do not ignore situational DV, hoping things will improve when the situation changes. They believe that the triggering factors can trigger more severe physical and emotional abuse.
The judge can first issue a restraining order to separate you and the children (if you have any) from the abuse. Thus, it helps to speak to an experienced family law attorney soon after the abuse starts. Your attorney will advise and help you seek a domestic violence protective order against your abusive partner. A temporary or permanent protective order can be the initial step to a safe and successful separation from your partner. Remember that the protective order offers temporary safety for the victim before the judge gives the final verdict on their case. The protective order serves the following purposes:
- It protects the victim of domestic violence.
- It keeps the children safe, physically and emotionally.
- It allows the partners to cool off for more accessible and more effective decision-making during a divorce proceeding.
- It ensures that the victim receives financial support from the abusive partner to support their needs and the children’s needs and pay off debts.
Judges issue protective borders on an emergency basis, even without notice. You can quickly obtain a temporary restraining order even before filing a domestic violence case in court. The order will remain in effect for about three weeks, within which the judge will have heard and determined your case. Thus, there is no need to wait for domestic violence to escalate to obtain a restraining order. You can protect yourself from recurrence by seeking your attorney’s help immediately after the first incidence of violence.
Sometimes, judges treat situational DV cases with leniency. For example, if the violent situation was once and was triggered by a factor that will unlikely reoccur in the future, the judge will not issue a permanent restraining order. Remember that judges issue protective orders for the period they believe the victim requires protection. However, the judge can issue a permanent restraining order if the abuse is severe and results in physical injuries to the partner or children. In that case, you can receive a protective order lasting six months and three years. That will allow you time to plan what you need and deserve in your marriage.
If you cannot remain married due to situational violence, however minor it seems, an experienced family law attorney can help.
Divorce Based On A Series of Domestic Violent Behavior
A series of abusive behaviors characterizes most cases of domestic violence. Some people in a marriage go through a prolonged history of abuse that spans over several years, sometimes up to a decade or more. Some of these DV cases involve physical abuse against the partner or children. Often, this kind of domestic abuse is accompanied by intimidation, threats, and hostility, which creates fear that makes it impossible for the victim to seek help or walk out.
Suppose you are in a situation where your partner has gained absolute mental control over you to the point that you lose hope of escaping. In that case, a skilled family law attorney can help. Divorcing a partner like that requires you to take immediate action to stop the abuse and regain your freedom and voice. It is also necessary for your safety and your children’s safety.
Judges issue immediate domestic violence protective orders in cases like these, especially if you have suffered recent abuse. The protective order will keep you safe and ensure you obtain the necessary help from your partner as you finalize your divorce. If the judge cannot issue a protective order, they can issue an order that limits or regulates contact between you and your abuser. These orders include specific orders regarding child custody, visitation, and spousal support. The abusive partner can be allowed supervised visitation to protect you and the children. The judge could also ask you or your partner to leave your residence to keep you safe.
The First Step in Divorcing an Abusive Partner
Divorce does not happen overnight. People seek divorce after a period of being unhappy and indecisive. Some people do not dare to defend themselves against an abusive partner because of fear created through endless threats and intimidation. It takes great courage to decide to take action against your abusive partner finally. Gathering that courage is your first step in this process. Once you have the courage, you can contact a skilled family law attorney for advice and guidance.
Divorce attorneys do not always have solutions for people going through abuse in marriage. They first understand your family situation and interests and recommend options to help you enjoy a better outcome. For example, if you are still building the courage to act against your partner, your attorney can refer you to a therapist. You can make an informed decision after healing. Your attorney can also empower you and provide the necessary support to make it easy for you to face your abuser in court.
If you have been in an abusive marriage for decades but the patterns are not consistent and severe, you can still take action against your partner through divorce. For example, people who experience psychological, financial, or emotional abuse also deserve better. Your situation in this case is not as severe as the person experiencing physical abuse, but that does not make it less traumatizing. Victims of this kind of domestic violence downplay their partner’s actions or hide behind the fact that the abuse is not severe or physical.
Sadly, victims of emotional and financial abuse often remain in marriage to maintain a particular status or protect their children. It is never too late to seek help for any kind of domestic violence. The judge can still issue a protective order and other court orders compelling the partner to support their children or the victim temporarily or for life. But to file a domestic violence case against your partner, you will need compelling evidence of the abuse. Remember that emotional and financial abuse does not always have physical proof. It could be challenging to file a successful criminal case. But that should not stop you from seeking help to free yourself from domestic abuse.
An experienced family law attorney has handled all kinds of domestic abuse cases. Therefore, they can easily recommend strategies and options you can use for a successful divorce against your abusive partner.
The Evidence Needed To Divorce an Abusive Partner
Domestic violence cases are challenging for victims and prosecutors. Most domestic violence occurs behind closed doors. Often, it occurs between the perpetrator and the victim. Unless there is physical harm, it could be challenging to prove domestic abuse if there are no eyewitnesses or any other evidence to support your claims. Prosecutors and judges rely on evidence to conclude domestic violence cases. The conclusion of a DV case can help you divorce your abusive partner. The kind of evidence needed in these cases includes the following:
- Photographic evidence of broken property, physical injuries, shattered phones, damaged walls and other damaged property.
- Documental evidence, including emails, text messages, and letters.
- Eyewitness testimonies from people who have seen or heard about the abuse from you or your partner.
If you have been in an abusive marriage for years, you will likely have sufficient evidence to support your case. Your family law attorney will help you prepare evidence before filing the case in court. For example, suppose you have ever called the police to a domestic situation in your home or have sought emergency treatment for injuries sustained after a physical altercation with your partner. In that case, you can use that as evidence. Previous arrests, prosecutions, and convictions for domestic violence are also irrefutable evidence. You can successfully file a criminal case and seek divorce from your abusive partner.
However, it can be challenging if you do not have evidence to support your case. For example, if you have never taken pictures of your injuries, never called the police, or sought any kind of help, you could find it hard to provide sufficient evidence to support your domestic violence case. However, that does not mean that you do not try taking action against an abusive partner. A skilled attorney can help you gather evidence right before filing your case. You can discreetly start documenting evidence before filing your divorce case in court. Your abusive partner will likely show their true colors without realizing the harm they are causing themselves.
It helps a lot of your neighbors who witnessed a DV incident in your home and are willing to help. Your children or others living in your residence can provide eyewitness testimonies. A skilled family law attorney will review your case to determine its strengths and weaknesses and work on the weaknesses before filing it in court.
It also helps to be around someone willing to help you take action against your abusive partner. Domestic violence victims often feel alone and unloved. That is why it takes a long time to seek help. Your attorney will provide the emotional and physical support you need to make an informed decision about your situation.
Find a Skilled Family Law Attorney Near Me
Divorce is a complex process to go through. However, it could be your best option if your partner is abusive. Domestic violence takes away your freedom, rights, voice, and happiness. It is detrimental to your and your children’s growth and development. It also results in physical harm and, sometimes, death. That is why you must seek immediate help to separate from your abusive partner.
We handle all kinds of divorce cases at San Diego Family Law Attorney. We can help you receive the emotional and physical help you need to gain the courage to divorce your abusive partner. We can also help you gather evidence in San Diego, prepare the necessary documents, and file a successful case in court. We will also fight alongside you for a favorable outcome for your case. Call us at 619-610-7425 to learn more about your situation and our services.
